Cat Lightning

My cat. Shooting lightning. Out of her paws!

Grass Bath

Good morning everyone. It's time for spring! Who wants to take a bath in the grass?

Puffer Beastie

This one's for Ryan, who requested:
I want to see a beastie that floats in the air like a bird, but without wings. Instead it's like a little puffer fish, round and plump and alabaster with prominent spikes protruding in every direction (except the spikes aren't dangerous, but are kind of cuddly).

Hmm.. This one took a while to get right. Cuddly spikes was a bit of a challenge. And puffer fish are pretty hard to top in general, since they're so awesome already. I can only hope this beastie fulfills Ryan's lofty expectations. She's a little bit of puffer fish, a little bit of bird, and a little bit of diva. (YEAH I aint got no WINGS! Don't NEED em, 'cuz I am FIERCE and I GOT IT like THAT and I don't CARE if they WATCHIN'!)

Sleeper Beastie

Mike wrote:
When I sleep, there’s a little beastie who hangs out near the inner corner of my left eye. He’s very small, and I think he eats a good bit of cheese nips because when I wake up, I always find crumbs in my eye crevice. I’ve never seen him because I’m always asleep when he visits. Most likely he’s kinda fat and has orange fingertips. Tammy, you might have a better idea of what he looks like.

Oh yes, I've seen this beastie before. Late one night right as I was drifting off, I actually saw him roll out of nowhere and attempt to crawl up my face. As it turns out, his job is to direct counting sheep all over the world. It's a pretty grueling job if you think about it. The only free time he gets is right after you fall asleep, when he indulges himself in cheese crackers and bad romance novels. He said he'll try to be tidier next time, but isn't making any promises.

Ear-y Beastie

Sam wrote:
there is a beastie who lives inside my left ear. every now and then she whispers funny things like fruits she would like to squeeze or places she would visit if she had feet. she has funny beastie-like names for things like the wind or the sound of pigeons making love. on the 11th of every month i treat her to a q-tip dipped in bittersweet chocolate if she's been very good, or an unpleasant noise like a whining piglet if she's been very bad. she tells me "we're not altogether very different, you and i."

A very wistful beastie indeed. And a more romantic way of looking at the inner ear.

*If it seems like I'm not doing these in the order I receive them, it's true. But I'll do my best to get to your beastie, I promise!

La Lizard Beastie

It's Beastie #3!
This was inspired by Natasha, who asked for:
- cycloptic lizard
- tiny scales
- stunted, can't fly for crap wings
- large talons
- smiling stupidly

There aren't any talons, but those shoes! Those legs! She's a man-eater! I had a lot of fun with this one, because it could have gone in several directions. Ultimately I took "lizard" and went with "dinosaur," because I love dinosaurs. And I thought having a ferocious velociraptor with dinky wings and vixen legs was a ridiculous combination.

Daruma Beastie

Today's beastie was conceived by Vincent, who wrote:

What about a beastie that is trying to stay away from vending machines, but is having a really hard time because he recently realized that he has an addiction to fat pills... i mean...M&Ms. Then he realizes that he should stick to liquid foods. He loves straws.........especially if there is a milkshake at the end of it.

Talk about a beastie with baggage... I really loved the idea of a beastie who's slightly overweight and addicted to candy, but can never eat it. I based my design off a daruma, which is a Japanese "doll" you commonly get at New Year's. It has no eyes; so at first, you make a wish or goal, and paint in one eye. When your goal is accomplished, you paint in the other. Since this beastie can never get his hands on the M&Ms, he's always clumsily running around with one eye. He also struggles with the gum disease known as gingivitis.

The 1st Annual Big Bad Beastie Contest!

Because it's Halloween season and because I love monsters, I have decided to launch the 1st Annual Paper Beats All Big Bad Beastie Contest! For the month of October, I will be taking submissions for Big Bad Beasties. You come up with an idea, I draw it, and at the end of the month we'll have a little vote on the best one. The proud mommy or daddy of the beastie wins a prize!

So without further ado, I'm very proud to unveil the first (of hopefully many) Beastie!

The idea was submitted by Mr. J.T. Trollman who wrote: I want a monster based on a Puffin -- but with tentacles for feet, and an over-sized beak with serrated edges.

Very interesting, Mr. Trollman. The challenge here was to combine the endearing features of an aquatic bird with a disgusting octopus. I'm pretty pleased with this one.


Keep those ideas coming! :)

At last!

Well, it's been an eventful two months. Shortly after my last post, I returned to the United States, which as you can expect, was a pretty big deal. Since then I've gone on "vacation" to Los Angeles and Chicago and have also been working on my portfolio. So, sorry about the long wait! Life gets in the way sometimes, and I haven't been completely lazy like the meatball you see below:

Here's a bit of a glimpse into my domestic life. Everyday for the past two weeks I've been waking up with this beastie (Mimi, or as I prefer to call her, Mi-chan), asleep on my leg or otherwise crowding the sheets. I repay the favor by interrupting her naps throughout the day. Usually this the response I get.

The Daily Kriesa

In highschool, I had a calculus teacher, Mr. Kriesa (as in "crisis"). Like an arctic hare, he would grow out his beard in the winter months and shave it off in the spring. Everyday I would draw a picture of him in the corner of my notes, each with a different theme. I called it "The Daily Kriesa," and it went on for most of the year, and by the end you could see a clear progression in the growth of his beard. I had almost completely forgotten about it until one day last week when I was doodling at work, and came up with this gem. It's drawn from the grade school perspective that your teachers' lives revolve around the subject they teach (or at the very least, that they're actually interested in that subject). For your reference, the writing says:

"I feel it... I feel the calculus..."
"GYAH!! It's too much!"

I wasn't particularly good or bad enough at calculus that he'd remember me. But I do wonder if he remembers the Daily Kriesa..

Frogman

I've noticed that all the characters I make up are males. Maybe I should work on some female ones? Anyway, I drew this guy quite a while back. People who know me know that I loath/fear frogs like nothing else, but I like the idea of this sour looking dude who wears a frog suit... Or is it his skin? Is he half man half frog? Does he dress up like a frog to catch frogs to make balloons? Either way, he must resign himself to an amphibian life, and from the looks of it, he isn't too happy about it.

*On another note: Four days left in Japan.

None Like It Hot

Ugh. Sorry for the lack of updates... I'm leaving Japan in a week, and to say it's been a stressful month would be like saying the weather's been on the warm side. Sigh, yes, the rainy season has ended and it's now officially summer, the season of fireworks and festivals and school vacation... Oh, and it's fucking HOT. My god, it feels like the sun is punishing Japan. On Saturday it was already 27˚C (80˚F) at 7 in the morning! It's a small consolation I guess, that I know I'll soon be going back to the land of abundant and wasteful air conditioning. :(

Beasties

Just felt like drawing something cute. Enjoy the beasties.

Leave the brats at home

Yesterday I went shopping at Gotemba outlets. It was so surreal, as it looked exactly like an American outlet mall, only full of Japanese people. I mean, I'm so far from home, yet this little consumer village in the jungle was so familiar, from the Eddie Bauer and J.Crew stores to the annoying brat children. Running around, screaming, crying, taking up space, and generally making everyone miserable. If I saw one more purple, tear-stained, screeching baby, or if I had to take one more detour through an already crowded store because a nose-picking toddler never learned how to move out of the damn way, I was going to spank someone. Either a child or their inattentive parents.

People, the fact that your children are being little monsters tells us two things: 1) they are brats and you've failed as a parent by not teaching them how to interact with the rest of the world and 2) this isn't anything new because you're obviously too sick and tired to do anything about it. It baffles me when people take their children to places not suitable for children. Shopping malls, nice restaurants, developing countries, public transportation. Take a second and consider if your kid can sit in the same spot for two minutes without complaining, getting lost, or freaking the fuck out. If the answer is "no," do a favor for the rest of the world and leave them at home.

P.S. I don't hate children. I just find it extremely irritating when they get in the way of my personal comfort.

Dough bed

If I had a million dollars, I would buy a gigantic vat (even bigger than this one.. maybe big enough for a couple of people), fill it with rising bread dough, and take a nap in it. God, can you imagine how incredible that would be? Soft and warm and good smelling dough bed.
And when I woke up, I could bake the dough and have some bread...

Why we use batons...

Instead of cats for relay races.

Ta... tarako?

I had a funny thought today about sumo wrestlers and kewpie dolls. I thought it'd be funny to have a sumo wrestler kewpie doll, but as I was drawing it, I realized they're essentially the same body.

Obaa-chan

Japan is full of old people! I saw this tiny old woman on the corner the other day. She was pushing what looked like a baby stroller (probably full of groceries) and had really fuzzy white hair. She looked like the kind of lady who would go into her vegetable garden at midnight to pluck slugs off the plants using chopsticks.
...
I think I just saw into my future.

Beard Rock

This is from a week or so ago. I had a lot of trouble with the colors, which is why I didn't post it sooner. I'm still not sure what I think.... Anyway, I was inspired to draw it after hearing about a rock band made up of old dudes that Mike saw at a concert. It made me think of Ents and then those ridiculous Norse death metal bands. What if these dudes have been rocking since the beginning of time? EPIC.

Strawberry Coma

Last weekend I finally went strawberry picking in Nirayama. The Japanese must truly be secret gluttons, because why else would anyone invent "all-you-can-pick-for 30-minutes"? My friends and I vowed to eat 100 each, which is quite a feat, but not how you'd expect... the challenge isn't the time limit, but rather how much room you have in your stomach. You get really, really full around the 70-strawberry mark; by the time you get to 100, you're basically fighting to eat through the pain. After 30 minutes, we staggered out of the greenhouse with stained fingers and strained bellies, and if given the chance, probably would have passed out in a strawberry field, forever (ba-dum ching!).